Incompetence Knows No Bias

Incompetence knows no bias. It is not black, white, male, female, gay, straight, republican or democrat. Incompetence is incompetence, period. And it is alive and well, in the Gulf of Mexico, the board room at BP and the White House. This situation is a textbook example of why the government and big corporations are absolutely useless when it comes to getting things done. They are masters of pontification, but are USELESS when comes to taking action.

BP, you are the experts. How can we go 50+ days and still not be able to determine the amount of oil that is spilling out of that well? You’re lying.

Mr. President, finding out whose “ass you’re going to kick” should be last item on your  “To Do” list. Take control.

I will put it in simple terms. Tell me how you would handle this problem.

You have three children at home and they decide they are going to play with their toy boats in the bathtub. So while you are outside doing yard work, they turn on the faucet and fill the tub. Unfortunately, in doing so they somehow turn the faucet handle too far and it gets stuck. But kids being kids, they keep playing as the water rises to the top of the tub. But as the water creeps closer, they panic, and try as they might, they cannot turn the faucet off, and the water keeps running. Now they are scared. They start trying to soak up the water with towels, to no avail. They try stuffing a towel up the faucet. It still keeps pouring out. It’s leaking through the floorboards. The ceiling of the room below is in serious danger. 

Then you walk in. The ceiling is dripping. You run upstairs. You see the disaster. What is your first reaction? Do you try and stop it, or do you let the water continue to run while you verbally berate each of the children to find out whose butt to spank?

The oil leak is not a bully pulpit to make a political statement regarding our dependence on oil. I realize it’s quite trendy to stand up and pound your chest and drop sound bites so you sound like you are environmentally conscious, but I’ve got news for you. You can ride your bike to work, or take busses all you want, but you are ignorant if you think that will make a difference. Even with imprecise calculations, it is estimated the amount of oil spilled would only power the country for about an hour.  Oil ain’t going anywhere anytime soon. Right now, we don’t need “environmental activists”; we need “active environmentalists”. There’s a big difference.

But let’s say we could turn off our use of oil like a light switch. We wake up tomorrow and boom – oil is no longer a part of our society. Let’s take a look at a regular day.

You wake up to a beautiful day. You can’t wait to go to work. So you hop in the shower. But you have no soap or shampoo. As a matter of fact, the shower is spraying and leaking everywhere because there are no faucet washers. But you muddle through. Your unshaven with smelly breath, but at least you can run a comb through your hair and look somewhat presentable. Sorry. No combs or brushes to make that gray hair (no hair coloring) of yours look pretty.

Uh-oh. The baby’s crying. He must need a diaper change. You feel good about using cloth diapers. You’re doing your part. So you unclip the diaper, and baby’s got a nasty case of diaper rash. Now what do you do? There’s no Vaseline or ointment.

At least you can have breakfast. But too bad you have to light a fire to cook the eggs laid by the chickens you raise in your backyard. That’s going to take some time and judging by the height of the sun in the sky, you’re already running late. Fortunately, you were able to get an accurate read on the sun without the sunglasses you used to have.

I could go on and on, but you get the point.

When the flood waters rise in North Dakota during the spring thaws, then entire city pulls together and lines the banks of the river with sand bags. They don’t sit around and wait for permits. They TAKE ACTION. That is what the true American spirit is all about. We do – we don’t blame. Or at least that is how it used to be.

If no one else is going to take control, I will. Here are my marching orders.

Bobby Jindahl, just stick the shovel in the ground and keep digging. Stop bitching about the feds not doing anything. Better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. Besides, what are they going to do? Prosecute you? Please.

Mr. President, make a decision instead of strolling down the hallway with Matt Lauer giving us your opinion on whether or not the Jim Joyce blown call should be reversed.

Tony Hayward, I don’t know what deal you cut with the devil, or who the devil is, but for all I know, it might be you. I want 10 viable solutions on my desk in the morning. Not affordable – VIABLE!

I am going back to my belief that what this country needs is an old-fashioned dad to knock some sense into us. Take the behavior of every associated party and imagine what your dad would do if they pulled that crap on him. I have a feeling that one of the phrases that might come out of his mouth is “what are you a freakin’ idiot”?

We’re turning from being a persevering nation that picks itself up from it’s boot straps when times are tough, towards a nation that blames someone for moving our boots and that’s why we can’t use the straps.

You all suck.