Dear Reformed Smoker - STOP WHINING!

Dear Reformed Smoker:

Stop your whining.

We are all very proud of the fact that you quit smoking. It’s tough to do. I know because I used to smoke myself. But do you know what makes my smoking cessation different than yours?

I don’t feel compelled to spend the rest of my life lecturing other smokers about how they should quit smoking and how smoking infringes on their rights and health, blah blah blah blah. I don’t do that fake little “cough, cough” when I am next to a smoker who legally has every right to be there. If the law says they can smoke – they can smoke. It is up to ME to move, not them.

I don't quote every single medical fact about smoking. I know smoking causes cancer. That's why I don't smoke anymore. Because I don't want to get cancer. But if someone else wants to get cancer, who am I to stop them?

The unwritten law of smoking and non-smoking works like this. Whoever is there first, wins. If you are a smoker and you sit down next to a non-smoker who was there first, you can’t smoke. If you want to smoke, it is incumbent upon you to find other smokers and smoke by them. Even if that means going outside to smoke because the place you are in is smoke-free. Something just dawned on me. Obama is a smoker. Do you think he has to go outside and sit on the loading dock with the other smokers that work at the White House? "So what are you doing this weekend Barack?"

But I digress.

On the other hand, if you are a non-smoker and you sit down next to a smoker, you have no right to tell him not to smoke. It is incumbent upon you to go to a non-smoking area. You were the one who decided to sit next to a smoker. So you deal with the consequences. If you are a non-smoker and you go into a restaurant and the non-smoking wait is 45 minutes, but the smoking wait is immediately and you choose to sit immediately, then deal with it.

I just realized that what I have described in the last few paragraphs is something that is quite rare in today's society. It's called - consideration. Imagine that. Having respect for another person. What an interesting concept.

Personally, I like smokers. They are fun. They have gravelly voices that entertain me. They drink a lot. They are risk takers. Unfortunately, they hang out in places where other people smoke. And I end up smelling like smoke, which I dislike, but it's not going to stop me from letting them smoke. Nor is it going to make me think any less of them because they smoke. I just won't go where I don't want to go. Simple as that.

So to you reformed smokers – shut it. You used to smoke. You are the tobacco equivalent of a serial killer that has found god on death row. And no matter what you believe, you don't have the right to initiate the jihad against people that chose to light up.