I tend to get annoyed with things that really aren’t worth getting annoyed over. It’s just the way I am. I really never do anything about it, other than point it out on the my radio show. I’ve never been one to write letters to the editor or follow traditional channels to voice my opinion. It’s time to change that. Here are my open letters to people that need a little wake up call.
Dear Cast of “The Jersey Shore”
Your 15 minutes are up.
Dear Man vs. Food Guy:
Puke on camera. Just once.
Dear President Obama:
Enough with the “blame everything on Bush” rhetoric. You sound like a broken record. And for the record, I hated him too.
Dear Nancy Pelosi:
Stop talking to me like I am an eight year-old. And wipe that smug look off your face.
Dear Glenn Beck:
Stop talking to me like I am an eight year-old. And wipe that smug look off your face.
Dear Bruce Springsteen:
Please put out an album that doesn’t suck as bad as “Working on a Dream”.
Dear Tiger:
It’s the network. Get a 2nd phone next time.
Dear Obsessed Brett Farve Followers:
He doesn't love you anymore. In fact, he never did. Deal with it.
Dear World Cup Soccer Fans:
The only things exciting about your sport are bloody, drunk soccer hooligans. And fires in the bleachers.
Dear Sarah Palin:
Bobby Jindahl called. He said you’re even making him look good now.
Dear Willy Wonka Candy Makers:
The mango and pineapple Runts taste like crap.
Dear Lady GaGa:
Stop it right now.
Dear Facebook Friends:
I love you all dearly, but I’m not going to help you get pigs, or fences or milk cows.
Dear Me:
Lighten up a bit.
Feel free to add your own. Remember to follow me on Twitter @kb965
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3 comments:
Dear Mr. Man in the big, shiny truckster:
Was it worth cutting me off to have to slam on your brakes because the guy in front of you was going even slower? Five miles later when we were next to each other at the stoplight, I was tempted to wave, but you were too busy on your cell phone.
Hello fellow Wisconites! Snow it happens in winter. Put your lights on and do not try and pass me when I have children on board you end up doing a doughnut right across Capitol drive and almost causing an accident. You will get to your destionation without acting like a fool. Be kind toward your fellow drivers please! And yes this includes letting me onto the freeway, move over!
Dear Mr. Stud in the P.O.S. Honda on Hwy 100 yesterday morning at 6am!
Sorry, I did not see you zig-zagging in traffic coming up in the bus lane when i attempted to change lanes from the left to the center. To slam on your breaks after you passed me in an attempt to force me to rear-end you is a dangerous and childish manuever. What? Are you 12 years old? Grow up d-bag!
Thank you!
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