It's the Little Things that Count

It’s the little things that count. How many times have we heard that? A least a buh-jillion? Yet, too often we don’t even know what the little things are. So just for grins I decided to make a list of some of the little things I really love in life, but never really think about, until I have to think about them. Like now. 

• The two days after Patrick and I get a video game we can both play. Because those are the only two days I can compete with him. After that, he’s got the game mastered and I get smoked every time I pick up the controller 

• The windows open on a summer night and the sound of kids playing capture the flag long after dark 

• Cole slaw instead of sauerkraut on a Rueben

• Having another passenger in the car so I can use the diamond lane when the on-ramp is backed up 

• A flushed 3-iron 

• Seeing an open parking spot on the other side of the street and having no on-coming traffic so you can kick a u-turn and get the spot before the guy who circled the block gets back to it.

• Two days after a workout, when your muscles are really, really sore. Then you deeply massage them and it hurts even more. But it’s the few seconds of relief right after you stop that are the best in the world. 

• The strawberry-banana smoothie at SmoothieLicious 

• The sound of my snow plow guy’s truck backing in my driveway up at 4am

• Understanding exactly why a manager made the double switch 

• Reserving judgment when those around you aren’t.

• Having a student leave class and then tell you they went back to their dorm and started working right away because they felt inspired 

• Getting to the Rolaids not a moment too soon 

• Free coffee (sub) day when you’ve finally filled up your punch card 

• Winning one dollar on Powerball 

• Man vs. Food

• The Red Sox beating the Yankees 

• The Brewers beating the Red Sox 

• Blind to the truth Brett Favre worshippers 

• Acedia 

• Seeing a recent picture of yourself where you don’t look half-bad 

• The first time you put on new socks 

• Spotting the perfect mullet 

• Having a legitimate excuse to leave somewhere you really don’t want to be in the first place 

• Ernest Hemmingway. Women, booze, bullfighting. Enough said. 

• Balancing your checkbook the very first time you try 

• On Golden Pond

  

That is just the start of my list. Do yourself a favor. Start writing down your own list. You might find that life doesn’t suck as much as you think it does. But, then again, it does kind of suck from time to time. 

Open Letters to Annoying People

I tend to get annoyed with things that really aren’t worth getting annoyed over. It’s just the way I am. I really never do anything about it, other than point it out on the my radio show. I’ve never been one to write letters to the editor or follow traditional channels to voice my opinion. It’s time to change that. Here are my open letters to people that need a little wake up call.

Dear Cast of “The Jersey Shore”

Your 15 minutes are up. 

Dear Man vs. Food Guy:

Puke on camera. Just once.

Dear President Obama:

Enough with the “blame everything on Bush” rhetoric. You sound like a broken record. And for the record, I hated him too.

Dear Nancy Pelosi:

Stop talking to me like I am an eight year-old. And wipe that smug look off your face.

Dear Glenn Beck:

Stop talking to me like I am an eight year-old. And wipe that smug look off your face.

Dear Bruce Springsteen:

Please put out an album that doesn’t suck as bad as  “Working on a Dream”. 

Dear Tiger:

It’s the network. Get a 2^nd phone next time.

Dear Obsessed Brett Farve Followers:

He doesn't love you anymore. In fact, he never did. Deal with it. 

Dear World Cup Soccer Fans:

The only things exciting about your sport are bloody, drunk soccer hooligans. And fires in the bleachers.

Dear Sarah Palin:

Bobby Jindahl called. He said you’re even making him look good now.

Dear Willy Wonka Candy Makers:

The mango and pineapple Runts taste like crap.

Dear Lady GaGa:

Stop it right now.

Dear Facebook Friends:

I love you all dearly, but I’m not going to help you get pigs, or fences or milk cows.

Dear Me:

Lighten up a bit.

Feel free to add your own. Remember to follow me on Twitter @kb965

Brett Farve Silenced By My Facebook Status

Monday night’s game between the Packers and the Vikings was the most watched ESPN broadcast of all time. It was the classic match-up between a legendary NFL franchise (Packers), and the d-bag, from now on to be referred to as D-Brett, who stabbed them in the back. So before you get started on the Ted Thompson rampage, remember the Packers went back to D-Brett 3 TIMES, offering him a chance to un-retire (April, June and July 2008) and both he and jacked them around. Don’t believe me? Follow the timelines in the press.

But that is neither here nor there.

It has been brought to my attention that I had a voice in D-B’s post-game presser on Monday night. Thanks to dear friend and sportscaster, Dawn Mitchell, who currently works for Fox Sports in Minneapolis.

As a Packer fan, I was a big fan of D-Brett’s. I must admit, I too was upset when he left the Packers. However, when he played for the Jets last year, it didn’t seem to bother me. He was in New York, in the AFC and not a mortal enemy of my home team.  He was gone. And I was ok with that. A-Rodg is my boy now. Heck, I lived through Don Horn, Frank Patrick, Jim Del Gaizo, Lynn Dickey, Blair Kiel, Scott Hunter, Rich Campbell, (need I go on?), I know I will survive.

But when D-Brett took the field on Monday night it was wrong. Very wrong. It sucked. It was the Vikings. How could anyone do that? He said it wasn’t revenge. Bullsh*t. It was all revenge, and in “sticking it to Ted Thompson”, he stuck it to thousands of Packer fans that supported him while he was a drug addict, through his many indiscretions in the back rooms of several Milwaukee night clubs, his horrendous post-season, won-loss record since the 1996 Super Bowl, and the interception against the Giants in the NFC Championship Game.

I’d like to say that it surprised me, but it didn’t. All that matters to D-Brett is D-Brett. Not even Ellie Mae, Jethro, Uncle Jed and the rest of his possum, er, ah…posse.

But it still hurt.

Anyway, back to the press conference. Seeing him so excited on the field infuriated me. He wasn’t supposed to like it that much. That was our “sex face”, not the Vikings fans. It made me feel dirty and used. So I posted my feelings on Facebook.

“Watching this game is like watching an ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend. AND she's happier than she ever was with you. And you say, well, I'm happy for her. But deep down you're really not. Isn't there a WNBA game on I can watch?”

It’s wasn’t so much that she was with the other guy – she was showing him her “sex face”. And this sex face was a filthier, nastier, “I’ll let you do things to me, that I would never let him do”, sex face. It was like a knife through the heart, stomach and back.

Apparently, Dawn saw my post on Facebook and decided to throw it at Brett in the press conference. A question which CONFUSED D-Brett. Go figure. His response was, “I don’t know if I even know how to respond to that”. And he shouldn’t know how to respond to it. You would have to have some type of consideration for those around you to craft a response. But, since he never thought about anyone other than himself, he was rendered speechless. Score – KB!

I suppose that one day I will be able to see him again and not be bothered. Kind of like finding an old crush on Facebook, who is now fat and ugly and you ask yourself, “What did I ever see in her? Damn, she really let herself go. I am so glad, I didn’t end up with her.” It makes you feel better. But remember, she is probably saying the same about you.