This One is Different

It has been 14 years since the Packers won a Super Bowl and while it is an exciting feeling, it is not the same type of exciting feeling we experienced on the 1996 trip to New Orleans and Super Bowl XXXI. It’s different and I can’t put my finger on the reason why, although I do have some theories. Here are just a few:

• I have not been subjected to non-stop playing of parody Packer songs every time I turn on the radio. I’d rip on the Lady GaGa YouTube song but it was made by 9-year olds and I can’t be that cruel.

• This lag between Super Bowl appearances was not as brutal as the 1968-1995 dry spell where we were forced to elevate marginal players to  “hero” status because we didn’t have anyone good. For example:

o   Eddie Lee Ivery

o   Harlan Huckelby

o   Terdell Middleton

o   Kittrick Taylor

o   Randy Vataha

o   Steve Odom

o   Estus Hood

o   and of course…Mossy Cade

• I no longer fit into my circa 1975 John Hadl jersey, so I have no apparel

• I haven’t seen Zubaz pants at church. Then again, I haven’t been to church.

•  We’ve only had 2 quarterbacks since 1992—Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers. Between 1968 and 1995 we went through three former Bear QB’s; one former Super Bowl QB; a Heisman Trophy winner whose non-Heisman winning brother became a better player; the prides of Green Bay West High School and the Wisconsin Badgers and a replacement player.

Do you remember these great Packer playcallers?

o   Rich Campbell

o   Carlos Brown

o   Anthony Dilweg

o   Don “Majik” Majkowski 

o   Scott Hunter

o   Jerry Tagge

o   Mike Tomczak

o   David Whitehurst

o   Randy Wright

o   Blair Kiel

o   Vince Ferragamo

o   Chuck Fusina

o   Jack Concannon

o   Bobby Douglass

o   Frank Patrick

o   Alan Risher (Our beloved “replacement” QB)

• Aaron Rodgers didn't take us on the “white knuckle ride” the Hillbilly QB did.

•  I am 48 years old and don’t get liquored up on Sundays like I did in the 90’s. For that matter, in the 80’s also.

• This Super Bowl snuck up on us. We didn’t have Super Bowl aspirations like we did in the mid-90’s, so getting there was more of a surprise than anything else.

But I think the real reason is because our Super Bowl was actually played two weeks earlier--the Packer-Bear NFC Championship Game.

Think about it.

The Packers HAD to win that game. If they lost, Chicago would always have the upper hand on us. They would have been unbearable (pun intended). If you think they are rude and obnoxious now, imagine had they won. It’s one thing to call Miller Park Wrigley north, but that’s baseball. This is football. This is the Packers. Losing wasn’t an option.

Face it, a lot of Chicago sports fans are bad winners. Not ALL of them, but a lot of them. It’s not enough for them to win. They have to rub your nose in it and demean you. They park in handicapped spots because the fine is cheaper than lot parking around Wrigley. Granted, they don’t wear cheeseheads, but they do have bad moustaches and wear Blue Blockers. Had the Bears won, we would have been their sports bitch for generations to come. 

But we won. We beat them in their crappy, duct taped together Solider Field. We watched as a city turned on their QB in the days that followed. And while they were griping, we were exorcising the ghost of the Hillbilly and watching a rock star . We were doing the Raji, and ripping off imaginary championship belts. We were wearing cheeseheads proudly, WITH jean shorts. We were so elated with our victory and happy with our heroes, we didn’t have time to put Bear fans down. That, my friends, is why I love Wisconsin.

What a great day to be a Packer fan. 

Here's Your Last Shot at Sanity

It’s down to the end of the line folks. Less than 8 hours to vote for your favorite unqualified douche canoe to serve themselves for the next (insert term length here). Lord knows our selection of nut bags is the widest it’s ever been. At least in my lifetime. You’ve got Harry Reid and Christine O’Donnell on the national stage for starters. Right here in Wisconsin we’ve got Rebecca “Gay Marriage is like marrying a table” Kleefisch and Tom “I’m qualified to be governor because I can take a punch” Barrett”, right here in our own state.

I know it’s too late to do anything. But if you haven’t voted yet, I am asking for you to write me in – for any position. I don’t care. But I’ve got to be better than what’s out there.

But, before you vote – educate yourself. Take a look at my entire television campaign. I didn’t spend millions of dollars. I shot it all at home and in my car with a $168 Flip Cam. That makes me fiscally conservative. And I don’t think gay marriage is the same as having sex with a table, so that makes me socially liberal.

Take a quick look. If you like what you see, write me in – for anything. Because a vote for me, is…well…a vote for me.

“I’m Running for Anything”

“I Don’t Have Genital Warts”

“Take a Civics Class”

“Don’t Play God With My Family”

“The Tea Party Movement”

“I Love the Great State of Wisconsin”

We are so f*cked. 

Brett Farve Silenced By My Facebook Status

Monday night’s game between the Packers and the Vikings was the most watched ESPN broadcast of all time. It was the classic match-up between a legendary NFL franchise (Packers), and the d-bag, from now on to be referred to as D-Brett, who stabbed them in the back. So before you get started on the Ted Thompson rampage, remember the Packers went back to D-Brett 3 TIMES, offering him a chance to un-retire (April, June and July 2008) and both he and jacked them around. Don’t believe me? Follow the timelines in the press.

But that is neither here nor there.

It has been brought to my attention that I had a voice in D-B’s post-game presser on Monday night. Thanks to dear friend and sportscaster, Dawn Mitchell, who currently works for Fox Sports in Minneapolis.

As a Packer fan, I was a big fan of D-Brett’s. I must admit, I too was upset when he left the Packers. However, when he played for the Jets last year, it didn’t seem to bother me. He was in New York, in the AFC and not a mortal enemy of my home team.  He was gone. And I was ok with that. A-Rodg is my boy now. Heck, I lived through Don Horn, Frank Patrick, Jim Del Gaizo, Lynn Dickey, Blair Kiel, Scott Hunter, Rich Campbell, (need I go on?), I know I will survive.

But when D-Brett took the field on Monday night it was wrong. Very wrong. It sucked. It was the Vikings. How could anyone do that? He said it wasn’t revenge. Bullsh*t. It was all revenge, and in “sticking it to Ted Thompson”, he stuck it to thousands of Packer fans that supported him while he was a drug addict, through his many indiscretions in the back rooms of several Milwaukee night clubs, his horrendous post-season, won-loss record since the 1996 Super Bowl, and the interception against the Giants in the NFC Championship Game.

I’d like to say that it surprised me, but it didn’t. All that matters to D-Brett is D-Brett. Not even Ellie Mae, Jethro, Uncle Jed and the rest of his possum, er, ah…posse.

But it still hurt.

Anyway, back to the press conference. Seeing him so excited on the field infuriated me. He wasn’t supposed to like it that much. That was our “sex face”, not the Vikings fans. It made me feel dirty and used. So I posted my feelings on Facebook.

“Watching this game is like watching an ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend. AND she's happier than she ever was with you. And you say, well, I'm happy for her. But deep down you're really not. Isn't there a WNBA game on I can watch?”

It’s wasn’t so much that she was with the other guy – she was showing him her “sex face”. And this sex face was a filthier, nastier, “I’ll let you do things to me, that I would never let him do”, sex face. It was like a knife through the heart, stomach and back.

Apparently, Dawn saw my post on Facebook and decided to throw it at Brett in the press conference. A question which CONFUSED D-Brett. Go figure. His response was, “I don’t know if I even know how to respond to that”. And he shouldn’t know how to respond to it. You would have to have some type of consideration for those around you to craft a response. But, since he never thought about anyone other than himself, he was rendered speechless. Score – KB!

I suppose that one day I will be able to see him again and not be bothered. Kind of like finding an old crush on Facebook, who is now fat and ugly and you ask yourself, “What did I ever see in her? Damn, she really let herself go. I am so glad, I didn’t end up with her.” It makes you feel better. But remember, she is probably saying the same about you.