Monday, September 28, 2009

What the Hell - The Journey Begins with "The Naked Shaver"


What the hell!!

This page is dedicated to the behavior of people that make you say "what the hell?", as in "What the hell are you thinking?", or "what the hell are you doing.?"

We run into these people every day, everywhere. We all know them. We may be them. In fact, it would be pretty arrogant to think that other people aren't looking at us and saying, "what the hell?"

But it doesn't matter. Because this is a view from my world.

So who are "what the hell" people?

People that are inconsiderate of others but staunchly believe the world must be considerate of them. The loud cell phone talker in a public place guy; the "how dare you take my pool chair even though I just got here" guy;

Basically, a-holes.

So to you I say "What the Hell?"

So who is the first "What the Hell?"

The "Bad Locker Room Ettiquette" Guy



No man should ever be so comfortable with his own body that he can stand in front of locker room vanity completely naked and shave. Just so we get this straight – I don’t want to ever see your junk. I don’t know what is more disturbing – having to see your junk or the fact that you aren’t considerate of the fact that no one else wants to see your junk.

If you still don’t get why your privates need to be kept private, let me spell it out for you. For starters, it looks like you are dragging a Crown Royal bag between your legs and I am not even going to say anything about the peen. It goes without saying that it needs to be kept covered - especially if you’ve got the turtleneck. They hand out towels at the door. Use it.

Let's move on to the sauna or the steam room and say hi to "Mr. Lay  Down Naked on the Bench" Guy. He is a close relative of the naked shaver. Don't do it. It makes you look really creepy. Even worse than the naked shaver. Why? Because you are laying down. Oh...and by the way, please refrain from the deep sighs while you are in there. We know it's hot. That is why we went in there, so please keep your labored breathing to yourself. K? K.

And keeping with the locker room theme, how about you Mr. “I have to set my gym bag down on the bench so no one else can sit down” guy. In case you didn’t know, benches are for sitting, not your gym bag, so put it on the floor. I need to sit down on the bench to tie my shoes shoes or put on a pair of socks and it’s pretty difficult to do with your gym bag and it's contents sprawled all over the place. And your junk best not be hanging out either or there's gonna be trouble.

Next up on my hit list...The Reformed Smoker.





1 comment:

Bill Markut said...

Good start KB!

How 'bout the guys who seem to need to all get lockers on both sides of yours AS YOU ARE STANDING THERE when the rest of the locker room is empty?